How do you cut an onion without crying?

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Please do tell, I have tried many methods. I accept recommendations in text format, memes or gifs.

My experimental status and results

❌Cut the onion while running the water tap, to dissipate the fumes. The only thing it was good for was immersing my face in it, to wash my eyes.
❌Put the onion in the fridge prior to cutting. I think it reduced the effects, but I was still crying, but not sobbing.
❌Wear sunglasses while cutting the onion. The fumes still get in the sides, top and bottom.
❌Cut the onion with your arms stretched out and holding your head as far back as possible. Very awkward and still didn’t work.
⭐ Wear swimming goggles is the best I’ve come across so far. However you look a bit ridiculous and have suction rings around your eyes. Not advisable if you have a hot date.

❓I think wearing a full helmet and face visor would be ideal, but I haven’t tried that yet. The full helmet may not be good if you’re rocking a good hairstyle after being at the salon and could scare little children or pets.

❓Possibly the 3D printed face shields, as used in the hospitals could be a winner in the onion chopping department.
Could one of you try it out and let me know. Thanks.

‼️ It’s a hot topic amongst firefighters.

‼️ A very important scientific experiment is being conducted on the ISS by astronauts. The results could help people’s eyes from onion damage.

Seriously though they do very important medical experiments that benefit earthlings, as the experiments in zero gravity speed the process up.


14 thoughts on “Onions

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